I'd Lead Your Heart Away
by JordanMcGee
Summary: "The noise doesn't matter" - Despite all the obstacles, Jax and Tara always find their way back to each other. My first take at Tara's POV. One-shot.


_AN: Hearts &amp; Flowers to you all!_

_A few people have asked me if I would ever write a story from Tara's POV. It's in the cards; I plan to write an AU in her POV after I finish TRD2. That said, to celebrate one of my favorite fictional couples this Valentine's Day weekend, here's a one-shot preview of what Tara's voice sounds like to me. _

_Set right before S2._

_Title is a line from one of my all-time favorite songs (I'm a big U2 fan)._

_Although still hating Kurt Sutter for what he did to Tara (and Jax), I'm grateful he created these amazing characters that we can love and play with on fanfiction. I own nothing except my imagination._

* * *

**I'D LEAD YOUR HEART AWAY**

For Tara Knowles, loving Jackson Teller's both the easiest and hardest things she's ever done in her life. Easy to get lost in those amazing blue eyes, easy to melt thoroughly just from a flash of that cocky grin, easy to bask in the magic moments spent with the most loving and loyal person she's ever known. She's loved Jax forever - long before he showed up on her doorstep that fateful night and declared he wanted much more than friendship with her, long before his sixteenth birthday when he told her he loved her for the first time. In fact Tara can't remember when she didn't love the beautiful blond boy who'd been the bright, constant sunshine in the darkness of her childhood and beyond.

But then for every action, there's an equal and opposite reaction; after all that's one of the laws of man and motion. For every moment spent loving him, there's another moment spent struggling over the life he lives - the life she's chosen to share with him. Back in high school, she'd been naïve enough to believe their love was strong enough to pull him away from the legacy of crime and violence that he'd eagerly embraced; now - eleven long years later - she knows that nothing can pull him away. So it's up to her to make the compromises so that they can be together - because like he's told her so many times, they're supposed to be together.

Of course it doesn't help that the Club always comes first with him. She'd learned that lesson over and over in high school, culminating on the day he refused to leave Charming for a brighter future with her. It's something she's told herself she could live with after failing so miserably at trying to live without him for eleven years. Despite the pain it's sometimes caused her, his steadfast loyalty's one of the reasons she's adored him since childhood. Tara knows Jax loves her as intensely as she loves him - she can see it on his beautiful face every time he looks at her, hear it in his voice, feel it in his touch. But it still hurts so much that every time he has to choose between her and the Club, she loses - every damn time.

Last week had been case in point when Tara had been selected to receive the San Joaquin County AMA's Medical Resident of the Year award at a benefit gala in Stockton; Dr. Namid himself had presented it to her along with a litany of praises that made her blush AND cry. It'd been a perfect evening - one that she'd worked so hard to earn - except for Jax's absence. Unfortunately, it was the same night that some other Sons of Anarchy charters were in town so he had to party with them at the Clubhouse all night. Such painful irony considering one of the reasons Tara won the award was due to her work saving Abel.

Hurt and livid, she'd stormed out of his house earlier that day after listening to him apologize because he couldn't attend the awards benefit with her. The arrogant asshole actually expected her to show up at the Clubhouse afterwards so they could celebrate with all his Brothers. Fuck that. Stalking to the front door, she saw Gemma sitting on the living room couch - smirking with satisfaction over the argument she undoubtedly overheard. Vile bitch.

So Tara had gone to the benefit alone, and afterwards - instead of heading to the Clubhouse like she'd been ordered to do - she checked into the Stockton hotel hosting the benefit and closed down the hotel bar with David Hale (who'd attended the benefit with his brother on behalf of the Hale family) and a bunch of other doctors, ignoring the incessant calls and texts coming from the man who claimed to love her more than anything.

Consequently, the next day's heated blow-up rivaled their rare but volcanic clashes from high school - oceans boiled and stars exploded from the searing heat of their combined fury. From the beginning, she and Jax seldom fought; soul mates through-and-through, they rubbed along together in mutual accord. Also, having grown up with an abusive drunk for a father, Tara knew all too well how cutting words screamed in anger could hurt almost as much as a vicious backhand to the face or a full-force kick to the ribs. And knowing a little bit of what she went through with her dad, Jax always tried to rein in his volatile temper around her - an endearingly sweet gesture that could usually could diffuse her own anger.

But there'd been nothing controlling his explosive temper when he'd shown up at her house in a rage; not only because she'd been a no-show at the Clubhouse but also because his mom had brought him a newspaper photo of Tara and Hale sitting together at the benefit "looking all cozy." Hung-over and fuming, she'd kicked him out, declaring herself done fucking around with the over-grown Mama's Boy.

For the next week, she buried herself in work - easy to do for a medical resident at an under-staffed, small town feeder hospital. St. Thomas catered not only to the citizens of Charming, but also to all the neighboring hick towns; there's no shortage of hours that could be added to her schedule. Actually, the hard part had been dealing with the rare moments of free time when she'd miss Jax and Abel like a physical ache. Working until she passed out from exhaustion helped a little bit, but every free second of her day, she'd see his face - both their faces - and it'd hurt so much she'd been left gasping for air.

And so she'd made her decision; if she wanted Jax in her life - which she does with every beat of her heart - she'd have to fight, fight hard and fight dirty.

* * *

Growing up in Charming, it had never seemed weird to her that most of the town's fundraisers and charity events had been run by the Queen of a motorcycle gang. Of course, Tara never knew the extent of that irony until she found out that SAMCRO wasn't just a bunch of mechanics who loved Harley Davidsons - to say the least.

Today, the town's park stands to benefit from Gemma's tireless generosity; apparently SAMCRO's leading the charge in raising donations for new playground equipment - dozens of homemade baked goods from the MC's Old Ladies, a silent auction featuring complimentary services donated from T&amp;M and other local businesses…and a kissing booth featuring some of Charming's eligible singles. She spots Jax standing next to the booth, laughing as Juice and Half Sack volunteer their lips for the good cause; her blood boils at the sight of a few barely dressed skanks begging him to offer his services as well. Tara knows from bone-melting first-hand knowledge that Jax Teller in a kissing booth could rake in a fortune. Unfortunately, for Charming's park, that's not going to happen. His mouth, along with the rest of his chiseled body, belongs to her.

Stepping into his line of vision, she meets his intent blue stare with a challenging gaze of her own. She may be here to get him back in her life, but the whole town doesn't need to know that - including him. Tara's pride cheers with relief when her man breaks away from his Brothers and the pouting skanks to head her way, those baby blues glued to her the entire time.

"Hey." He stops directly in front of her, jamming his hands into his pockets - the telltale sign that he's not entirely at ease. His eyes sweep her from head to toe - predictably lingering on her breasts, flaunted by the sundress she deliberately chose to entice him - before meeting her gaze once again.

She drinks in the sight of him greedily; he looks tired, probably either from partying late into the night with this Brothers or waking up multiple times in the wee hours for Abel or both. Nevertheless, even clearly exhausted, Jax Teller's still the most beautiful man in the world. More than anything she wants to pull him into her arms and hang on tight, but she's not entirely at ease either; so she settles for a small smile. "Hey."

Her small smile prompts a grin to spread across his face. "Heard you've been burning the candle at both ends at the hospital. Wasn't sure you'd be here."

She shrugs then looks around the park - at all the families and kids running everywhere, shrieking with laughter. "Wouldn't miss it. I've always loved it here; lots of good times, you know." Tara's childhood couldn't exactly be described as happy, but a good chunk of her happy childhood memories happened here - with Jax, Opie and little Tommy Teller.

Stepping closer, he leans forward until his face's a hair's breadth from hers. "Yeah, I do." And a good chunk of her happy teenage moments happened here as well - getting drunk and setting off fireworks with Jax, Opie and their friends; finding secluded areas with him to set off their own fireworks. Suddenly, she's overwhelmed by the need to drag him away to one of those secluded areas, despite all the kids running around and all the unspoken shit still between them.

Judging from the heat flaring in his eyes, his thoughts mirror hers - although he doesn't move, waiting for her lead. Tara tears her eyes from his intense gaze to look around once more, scanning all the people - gauging the risk of getting caught; she's a respected doctor now, not that sex-crazed teen with no filter on where and when she fucked the love of her life. Almost instantly, she meets Gemma's wrathful glare; no doubt Mommy Dearest's not too pleased with Tara's appearance, distracting Jax from something he's supposed to be doing in the service of his Club and/or his mother. It's enough to snap her decision in place.

Sliding her hand up his arm, she smiles into his eyes, tilting her head towards the far end of the park - the usually private copse of trees that the two of them know all too well. Grabbing her hand, he nearly pulls her arm from its socket and practically drags her out of the public area - which is probably better than his usual mode of hauling her over his shoulder like a crazy caveman.

* * *

"Too long, Tara…too long…" He murmurs against her lips, his hands squeezing her ass through her dress, pressing her tight against the hard bulge in his jeans.

"I know, Baby." She pushes him down to sit at the base of a tree before straddling him and fusing her mouth to his. Every cell in her entire body roars to life at the electrifying feel of his foraging tongue plundering her mouth, his hands stroking the bare skin on her shoulders and arms before cupping and kneading her breasts.

Scooting back on his thighs, she flashes him a smile as her hands drift to his fly, rubbing the bulging erection that threatens to tear through the denim. "You ready for me, Baby?" She rips open his jeans, rubbing his stiff cock before filling her hands with his balls. Since the first time, he let her touch him like this, she's been fascinated by the feel of those heavy, pliant, squeezable sacs - fascinated by how his big body would sweat and shake, how he'd moan her name over and over, how his cock would somehow swell even bigger and harder - ready to fuck her again and again. "I'd say that's a yes." She gives him a firm squeeze before plucking a condom out of her purse.

"Oh shit, Babe…" he gasps, his pleasure-soaked gaze fixating on her hand as she slowly, slowly covers him. "Christ, Tara…" She smiles as his eyes widen with realization when she sinks onto him, impaling herself to the hilt.

Tara traces the shell of his ear with her tongue as she starts to ride - thrilling at feel of his massive hardness filling and stretching her, of the rock hard muscles in his arms flexing under her stroking fingers. "Sorry, Baby, every time I put on a dress…I seem to forget…" Tightening her muscles around his pulsing cock, she shivers and moans when he sucks hard at the base of her neck. "…to wear anything else…"

Until now, for anyone who happened to discover them, they might've looked like a couple engaged in a heavy make-out session; the flouncy skirt of her sundress covering his open fly and cock buried deep inside of her. That changes in a flash when Jax pulls the bodice of her dress down to her waist to feast hungrily on her bare breasts; the highly arousing double stimulation of his thick, heavy cock throbbing inside her and his hot, wet mouth suckling her nipples drive her over the edge, intense spirals of blinding pleasure blasting through every inch of her.

Wrapping her arms around his neck, she pulls his mouth to hers, abrading her wet nipples against the stiff leather of his cut. She feels his hands lift her skirt to squeeze her ass - spurring her to ride him faster and faster, clenching and milking him tighter and tighter until he buries his face in her neck, hoarsely gasping her name as he explodes inside of her.

It takes a few minutes, but she's finally able to breathe regularly; Jax's head's still buried against her neck while he continues to gulp for air. She runs her fingers through his damp hair and pulls him even tighter against her, reveling in the solid thump of his heart beating against hers. God she missed this, missed how unbelievably good it felt to be with him, touch him, feel him - nothing, nothing in her life could even remotely compare.

* * *

"Well that's a park fundraiser we won't be forgetting anytime soon…" Tara snuggles against his bare chest, tucked securely within his arms - where she belongs, where she's always belonged.

Although no one said anything to them when they emerged from woods - looking flushed and slightly disheveled - judging from the knowing smirks on some people's faces, it's clear that her and Jax's smoking hot make-up session didn't go un-noticed. But for the long-time residents of Charming, it's probably par for the course; she and Jax couldn't keep their hands off each other as teenagers - and apparently not as adults either.

A small smile tugs at Tara's lips at the memory of Gemma's barely contained annoyance at the sight of the two of them grinning happily, their arms wrapped tightly around each other as if signaling to the world that nothing, nothing could ever come between the two of them. Annoyance that turned into clear outrage when Jax informed her that he and Abel were taking off for the day to spend some quality alone time with their girl.

Flashing her his famous panty-dropping smile (which would've worked except she left hers at home today), Jax drops a kiss on her lips, then another and another. "Doubt anyone was shocked though…everyone knows you've never been able to keep your hands off me."

Tara rolls her eyes although she can't deny it. Sliding her hands down his back, she grabs his oh-so-perfect ass and squeezes until he groans and starts nipping hard at the ultra-sensitive nerve between her neck and shoulder while rubbing his hardening cock against her. "I guess that's true…" she gasps. "So what are you going to do about it?"

But instead of reaching for another condom, Jax shifts to loom over her, making her breath catch once again; she's seen a lot of beautiful things, known other beautiful men - but nothing, nothing on this earth's more gorgeous to her than Jackson Teller.

Brushing his thumb against her cheek, all the humor disappears from his blue eyes as he stares at her intently. "I love you, Tara…I want you to live here with me and Abel. Permanently." He must've read the surprise in her eyes because he hurries on before she can recover. "This last week without you…it was hell, Babe. I'm sorry I was such a dick. It's just that…Dr. Knowles has this whole other world…one where sometimes I don't think I fit in…"

She feels her eyes grow misty; god she loves him, loves him beyond anything. Despite everything that's happened to him in all their years apart, her badass biker's still that sensitive, vulnerable blond-haired boy who stole her heart so long ago. "I love you, Baby." She tucks a lock of hair behind his ear and strokes his goatee. "You are my world, Jax.

"So that's a yes?" He asks hopefully, blue eyes wide. "Me and the guys can start helping you with your stuff tomorrow since you have the day off."

Tara hesitates; there's still so many secrets between them - including the huge one she hadn't told him about Kohn. How would Jax react knowing that she'd once been pregnant with another man's baby, the man he killed in her bedroom just a few months ago? And then there was SAMCRO; the shit those guys did terrified her back in high school, could she really handle it now?

"What is it?" Jax frowns as the hope in eyes turns to hurt at her silence. "You say you love me, but you don't want to be part of my life?" Relaxing somewhat in relief when she shakes her head, he runs his hand up her arm to rub her shoulder. "Look Babe, I understand if you don't think you're ready for the shit that comes with being a Mom to Abel. I really don't expect you, too. I'm hiring someone to watch him so you…"

She shakes her head once again. "I'm not hesitating because of anything about Abel. I love your son, Jax. After everything that's happened, I feel like he's mine, too." Tears prick her eyes again at the memory from earlier today when that smiling baby boy had reached for her instantly, gurgling happily as she held him. "I just need a little time, Baby - to sort some stuff out in my head. Please tell me you understand."

Jax lifts her hand and presses a kiss to her palm. "I'll wait for as long as it takes, Tara." He echoes the words he said to her so long ago when he pushed to turn their friendship into something more. And she definitely wants more. Then and now.

Pulling her head down to hers, she kisses him with everything she has - pouring all the love and affection and desire for him that she's carried inside of her for years. The need for air (and a condom) finally breaks them apart; smiling, she stares into those beautiful, slightly dazed blue eyes and presses her hand against his pounding heart. "Whatever happens, I'm right here."


End file.
